According to the dictionary, the word “should” is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing one’s actions. The word’s connotation doesn’t evoke acceptance or possibility. It doesn’t inspire change, give hope, or make you feel warm and fuzzy, either. In my opinion, it’s the one word we “could” cut out of the English language. Read why below:
1. It Makes Us Feel Badly
When I hear the word “should”, I envision an old critic focusing on the day they made that one mistake. They carry the guilt of their decisions on their back for the world to see in the form of a hump. Their hands are gnarled and arthritic. Their hearts are hardened. Spending useless time lamenting on what we “should” have done creates pain and suffering instead of inspiring change. We feel badly both on the inside and outside. Stomach issues, migraines, and muscle pain can be the result of this way of thinking. So, instead of “should-ing”, why not try and accept all choices as lessons instead of mistakes?
2. We only see the critique not the solution
In my business, I have the honor of managing others. I quickly learned that any kind of criticism is best served with a compliment as an appetizer. When we include “should” in conversations with ourselves or others, all we hear is what we didn’t do instead of the suggestion of what we could do. Rephrasing your thoughts and words to a more positive state will motivate change and help you feel better.
3. It Can Seem Like We “Know It All”
No one likes the know it all. When we “should” on others, we alienate ourselves. If you have a suggestion for someone, make it just that – a suggestion.
Eradicating “should” from your vocabulary will take time. First, be aware of how many times a day you use it and experiment with changing the wording. Notice how you feel and use this power to create and inspire others to do the same.
-Lindsay Lopez, Fabletics Master